Category: Grammar

So what exactly is a mixed construction?

At the most basic level, it’s a sentence that starts with one kind of structure… but then ends with another one. Usually a sentence with a mixed construction makes total sense to a reader, but it also has the ability to confuse a reader as well.

There isn’t one kind of mixed construction, and such is the reason why it can be hard at times to point them out.

But let’s look at some common examples and figure out ways to fix them…

Example One

Revising is when you go through your short story or novel and improve upon it in a variety of ways.

Sounds perfectly fine, right? If you were to see this sentence in the middle of a paragraph — hell, even at the beginning of a paragraph — you might not think anything of it.

But notice the awkwardness at the beginning. The word ‘when’ is our problem. ‘When’ refers to an event happening in time, and there’s no time associated with this example. The sentence is detailing a kind of writing process, so the use of ‘when’ is unjustified.

So how do you fix it? Pretty easy.

Revising is the process of going through your short story or novel and improving upon it in a variety of ways.

Way better, right? Notice that I added -ing to the words ‘go’ and ‘improve’ so that the sentence makes perfect sense.

Example Two

Most writers tend to agree about the necessity of short chapters in thriller novels and also quick, choppy sentences.

This isn’t a terrible sentence. You could probably get away with it.

But it still sounds kind of odd, right? What’s the problem, exactly?

The problem is the mixed construction. Everything before “and also” makes sense, but then things get confusing. The way the sentence is written now makes it sound like writers could be agreeing on the use of short chapters in thriller novels AND the use of short chapters in choppy sentences, which is confusing and bad.

Here are three ways you could potentially fix this sentence.

Most writers tend to agree about the necessity of short chapters in thriller novels and also on the necessity of quick, choppy sentences.

Not terrible, but let’s do better.

Most writers tend to agree about the necessity of short chapters in thriller novels. Writers also believe quick, choppy sentences are important in the genre.

Much better. But I still would go a step further and make the example less wordy, more to-the-point.

Most writers tend to agree about the necessity of short chapters and choppy sentences in thriller novels.

There! Oh my God, so much better. And so much easier to read.

There is, however, no excuse for a fused sentence.

Unless you have a character shouting dialogue that comes in the form of stream of consciousness — “Mom I don’t want to go to the party I don’t want to go don’t you hear me!” — I don’t really see a place for fused sentences even in your most fantastical of fiction.

A fused sentence is easy to miss when you’re reading through your work again. It often looks like a perfectly fine, grammatically correct sentence that begins with a capital letter and ends with a punctuation mark.

The big problem with a fused sentence is that it smashes two independent clauses up against each other in a way that won’t make sense to most of your readers. The connection might make sense to you, but that’s not enough.

Here’s a typical fused sentence in a work of fiction…

Karen ran as fast as she could down the school hallway the six-foot-tall gargoyle was chasing after her.

When you’re reading through your sentences fast, that sentence might seem okay. This is a moment of suspense, after all. What reader is going to notice that this sentence is comprised of two independent clauses unnecessarily smashing up against one another?

The sentence ultimately looks weird because there’s no ending to the first independent clause and no beginning to the second one.

It’s sort of like a run-on sentence, although run-on sentences are slightly different because they typically have a coordinating conjunction in the middle of independent clauses, a sentence more like “Karen ran as fast as she could and the gargoyle was chasing after her and her friend was waiting for her outside and Karen was screaming at the top of her lungs,” something like that.

A fused sentence happens when you’re not paying full attention. When you’re flying through that first draft so fast you don’t catch these occasional mistakes that might read all right to some but confuse many of your readers looking a bit more closely.

So how do you fix fused sentences?

There’s not just one way to fix a fused sentence, but keep this in mind: you do need to fix each and every one of them!

The simplest: add a period.

Karen ran as fast as she could down the school hallway. The six-foot-tall gargoyle was chasing after her.

This is the most obvious way to fix the problem. Separate the two independent clauses with a period, and you have two decent sentences. When you have absolutely no idea what to do, this method is probably the one you should go with.

But sometimes this method does make your sentences a little too dry, a little too blah. You don’t want your fiction to read like a report, am I right?

The problematic: insert a semi-colon.

Karen ran as fast as she could down the school hallway; the six-foot-tall gargoyle was chasing after her.

Like with comma splices, this isn’t necessarily terrible. Semi-colons are used to link two independent clauses closely related in thought, and this example about Karen running away from the gargoyle certainly fits under that rule.

The problem is that in fiction writing, semi-colons often look weird on the page. They’re certainly allowed in fiction, but sparingly, I would say.

You could go a step further and write,

Karen ran as fast as she could down the school hallway; she was trying to outrun the six-foot-tall gargoyle chasing after her.

But again, this still looks awkward. There’s too much telling in the example too, so it’s probably best to look for another way to link the two sentences.

The alternate: add a coordinating conjunction.

Karen ran as fast as she could down the school hallway, as the six-foot-tall gargoyle was chasing after her.

Adding a coordinating conjunction basically means adding a single word in the middle of the two independent clauses, such as and, but, or, nor, so, for, as, or yet.

In the case of these two independent clauses, this is an example you could potentially go with, although you shouldn’t in this example use most of those coordinating conjunctions because they wouldn’t make sense.

Using as definitely makes sense, though, and could work just fine, although it’s still not great.

The ideal: add a subordinating word.

When Karen ran as fast as she could down the school hallway, the six-foot-tall gargoyle chased after her.

In many cases, adding a subordinating word will be the ideal fix to fused sentences, the same way they’re the ideal fix for comma splices. That example above is, in my mind, the best version of that particular sentence from everything I’ve featured in this article. .

Notice all I did was add a new subordinating word to the beginning, add a comma after the first independent clause, and changed “was chasing” to “chased.” So much better! (You should always try to eliminate most of your -ing verbs in your writing, but that’s another post for another time.)

So how do you fix comma splices?

There’s not just one way to fix a comma splice. If you have a hundred comma splices in your latest work of fiction, you shouldn’t just fix them all the exact same way. You have to think about rhythm in your sentences. You have to think about intent.

So let’s look at four common ways to fix these examples.

The simplest: change the comma to a period.

I just saw Brandon in the hallway. I hope he likes me.

This is the most obvious way to fix the problem. Separate the two independent clauses with a period, and voila, you have two perfectly fine sentences. When in doubt, this method is probably the one you should go with.

The problematic: change the comma to a semi-colon.

I just saw Brandon in the hallway; I hope he likes me.

This isn’t a terrible idea. Semi-colons are used to link two independent clauses closely related in thought.

The problem is that in fiction writing, semi-colons often look strange on the page. Pick up a book of fiction by you right now, turn to a page, and see if you can find a semi-colon. Probably not, right? They’re allowed in fiction, but sparingly, I would say.

The alternate: add a coordinating conjunction.

I just saw Brandon in the hallway, and I hope he likes me.

Adding a coordinating conjunction basically means adding a single word in the middle of the two independent clauses, such as and, but, or, nor, so, for, or yet. In some cases, this might work the best, although notice it doesn’t really work so great in the example above. It could work if the sentence was, I just saw Brandon in the hallway, and I hope he says hi.

It also would work much better using that second example from before…

It was a beautiful mid-summer day, and the basketball game went on forever.

Still not great, but it definitely makes more sense than the first example.

The ideal: add a subordinating word.

Because it was a beautiful mid-summer day, the basketball game went on forever.

In many cases, adding a subordinating word will be the ideal fix to a comma splice. That example above is, in my mind, the best version of that particular sentence. It clearly tells you why the basketball game went on forever.

A subordinating word is often because, but it can also be while, however, although. Let’s try the other example.

Because I just saw Brandon in the hallway, I hope he likes me.

Doesn’t work, does it? Here’s a case where the simplest example — separating the independent clauses into two sentences — is probably best.

Are comma splices ever acceptable in your writing?

Sure they are. Many of the examples I shared above are particularly useful if you’re writing academic papers, research papers, but fiction and creative non-fiction are entirely different beasts.

You should still try to avoid comma splices, but here are a few reasons why they might be acceptable…

1. Point-of-View. If you’re writing a young adult fiction novel told from the first-person perspective of a teenager, then comma splices might be okay from time to time. Since that character would write lots of comma splices, having absolutely none of them in the entire novel might look weird. On the other hand, if you’re writing a literary novel in third person omniscient, comma splices should be mostly avoided, since the style of writing under this POV is vastly different.
2. Rhythm. Sometimes, for whatever reason, the occasional comma splice actually enhances the rhythm and pacing of your writing. Especially in a longer paragraph, merging two independent clauses with a comma instead of a period might enhance the specific rhythm you’re going for in your storytelling.
3. Short, punchy sentences. Again, here’s another case where comma splices look better. Examples like, Many people like sports, I don’t. Or, It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Separating short sentences like these with a period or a semi-colon feels like effort that’s not needed. They roll off the tongue so quickly that the comma splice actually seems fitting in a way.